18/02/2009
leave your things behind ‘cause it’s all going off without you
– let go, frou frou
You know what’s depressing? When you have something taken away out of selfishness for something better, something new. And I can’t blame her, really. It’s hers and not mine. I’m just bitter, and I think I’m allowed to be sad and huffy about it. Sure, I’m jumping the gun even before I know for certain what’s going to happen to it, but the thought of it happening is still painful.
I become easily attached to the things that I own, even if it’s temporary. I’ve hid things in the back, have socialized over junk food and stupid jokes, smoked with people until our throats were raw and had meaningful conversations and philosophized about things that transcended normalcy. I feel a little stupid reminiscing about something I will always have with me, but I like the idea of having something physical to represent all of it.
My aunt is terribly indecisive, which makes the waiting even more troublesome and stressful on my nerves. No matter how many times I may complain about its impracticality, I still loved it. My mom says that the transition – if it happens – may be a little strange but that I’ll forget about it. Maybe.
(And I won’t lie. A part of what gets under my skin is that I’ll have thrusted upon me a hand-me-down of lesser quality. Sigh. I keep telling myself to try and find something good about it. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” This has potential, if the idea didn’t make me so miserable!)
Text posted at 18:49
